


Catch A Dream In Your Hands

by Liron_aria



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - God Isn't Awful, Angels, Angels Defending Humanity, Brotherhood, F/M, Love, Theology, canon does not spark joy so I threw it out, idk man this is less a story and more wistful musings from a sad christian, the point is love you guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27238510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liron_aria/pseuds/Liron_aria
Summary: There's a story of beauty and light and no sign of pain. This isn't that story.There's a story of grief and darkness and desperation. This isn't that story, either.This is the story of a boy with dimples, a girl with sunshine in her smile, and a boy flushed with the joy of life.This is a story of love.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, God & Lucifer (Supernatural), God & Michael (Supernatural), Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Lucifer & Michael (Supernatural)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Catch A Dream In Your Hands

**Author's Note:**

> A long time ago, someone asked me what my ideal Supernatural would be, and this lyrical overview? summary? of Seasons 1 - 5 is what came out. For those of you who remember Quake, The Pillars Of Heaven, I am once again attempting to reconcile SPN with aspects of _actual_ Christianity, and yeeting the show's religious nihilism out the window.

Imagine a world with no pain, no suffering, only laughter and light -

Wait. No.

That's not this story.

In this one, there’s a boy. He’s bright-eyed and fresh-faced and charming with dimples you could drown in. There’s also a girl with sunshine in her smile and her feet planted firmly on the ground, who laughs and holds the boy close, and they are very, very much in love. Maybe Jess knows about Sam’s past as a hunter because she grew up in the life, too, or maybe she only finds out because he tells her, crying into her shoulder when the dreams get too much. (He can’t lose her. He _can’t.)_

The point is, Jess knows how to protect herself. And she does, so when Sam comes home without finding his Dad, she has cookies and kisses waiting for him, and tickles him out of his panic over his upcoming interview. She sees the longing in Sam’s eyes, and pushes him to keep in touch with Dean, even though they’re apart. Because family is _important_ , even if you’re diametrically opposed to what they say.

The demons don’t take this lying down, of course, because Sam’s grief and rage are _also_ important, they need him fuelled by the darkness in his heart and not buoyed up by the sunshine in Jess’ smile.

Sam’s nightmares get worse.

Their illusion of safety shatters around them into blood and ash.

Jess clenches her fists and tries to contain the rage in her heart that someone is threatening _her Sam_ , threatening _their happy ending_ , and tells Sam _‘Go hunt. Show them they made a **mistake**.’_ Sam kisses her on her forehead and whispers promises into her skin and calls his brother.

Dean slowly gets to know his brother again, gets to know this new man and the woman he loves, instead of shoving him back into the role of snot-nosed little brother, because Sam isn’t just Sam anymore, there’s Jess, too, and none of the old moulds fit. So Dean, still young and flush with _joie de vivre_ , adapts, and lives and loves.

They wind up at Missouri’s, and instead of wariness, Sam asks, _‘Can you help me train these powers?_ ’ Because, see, he’s not afraid, not anymore, because _Jess_ isn’t afraid. Because Jess loves him, _all_ of him, and won’t _let_ him be afraid. And for once, even though Dean’s scared, there’s someone to remind him to see his brother beyond his own fear.

Of course, being a psychic comes with the benefit of allowing Sam to notice his father in Missouri’s house, because he’s not afraid of his powers, and that makes a heck of a difference. And since John’s not there to save the day, that meeting goes about as well as one might expect.

But all the protection in the world can’t save you with Hell out for your blood, and Jess dies. John dies. Sam succumbs to a storm of grief and rage and _oh_ , do the demons regret it.

(You have to understand - Dean loved Jess, too. You have to understand - there was a wedding he was going to be Best Man at.)

Sam still dies in Dean’s arms. The demons want their Boy King, they want their Righteous Man, and they pull out all the stops to get it. Ruby goes to Dean first, this time. Whispers into his grief that Sam’s not at peace, not really, and there are ways to get him back. It takes a bit more pushing, but there are some weaknesses written into the fabric of person’s being.

Sam’s visions are still there. He knows about Dean’s deal before Dean ever tells him. _‘I’m not worth this,’_ he says and Dean scoffs, _‘Of course you are.’_ If there’s one thing Dean learned from Jess, it’s that Sam doesn’t always hear the unsaid, and if he’s going out, he’s going to make sure his baby brother doesn’t go off the rails without him.

And when Loki comes, with his oblique lessons to prepare Sam for his future, Sam spits in his face, all fury and grief and _love_ , and holds tight to his brotherhood like his salvation. What would a Trickster know of brothers and sacrifice, anyway?

For an instant, Gabriel blazes through, Gabriel who lost his brothers, Gabriel, whose love nearly destroyed him, Gabriel who cannot help but love humanity because he is _made from his Father’s love, and his Father loves humanity so much._

(God is love, God is in every expression of love from one human to another, and after so long a silence, after so long alone, Gabriel catches a glimpse of his Father again, and decides then to cast his lot with the Winchesters.)

(Also, Sam sees Gabriel’s true form. Because being a True Vessel and a psychic has to come with some perks. Sam is afraid, and the familiar words fall from Gabriel’s lips _‘Do not be afraid…'_ )

So when the angels come, it is less _Light Is Not Good_ and more _Not All Light Is Good But A Vast Majority Is_. Heaven exists outside of time, you see, and the war between good and evil, light and dark, Heaven and Hell eternally rages. Michael leads the charge on a hundred different planes, tearing down demons and Fallen and monsters wrought from hate so that they never reach Earth, never touch the humans his Father loves so dearly (that he, too, loves dearly, even though he is a warrior, he is a Sword, and he doesn’t really _understand.)_

But there are angels who understand even less, angels like Zachariah, angels who call Sam an abomination for his demon-sparked powers (he doesn’t need the demon blood, you see, for all that they catalysed his Sight in the beginning. Ruby finds better ways to train him.) and forget to say ‘you are loved despite this’ because it is a _fact_ , God’s love is an _immutable truth,_ so why should it need to be _explained?_

The Apocalypse still comes, because Michael’s love is a weapon, a cleansing fire, and he is bringing Paradise to Earth because his Father’s favoured children deserve their eternity of bliss back, don’t they? Michael tells Dean he is his vessel, but doesn’t tell him that killing Lilith will free Lucifer, because there is a _Plan_ , and it is _Good_.

(Michael doesn’t think about the void in the cosmos where he thinks his Father should be, but finds He isn’t. He will bring Paradise back, and his Father will return and the humans will be cherished and it will be _Good._ )

(Michael doesn’t understand that his Father is still there, in every kiss, in every hug, in every prayer, patiently waiting for His children to return to Him. Paradise was never something to be _brought_ , it is something to be _found, created, expressed._ )

Michael doesn’t wait in the Heavens for Dean to say yes, he walks the Earth as Lucifer does, in a temporary vessel, waiting for his True Vessel to submit to destiny. It isn’t until he sees Lucifer again, mangled and still so beloved (God’s love is eternal, remember, and they are _made from His love_ ), rejecting the truth of his being (love, is it clear that it’s love, yet?) contrasted against Sam and Dean and Ellen and Jo and Bobby and desperate hands holding onto each other, desperate hugs and kisses and prayers, desperate tears, and storms of grief and rage and _love_ blazing bright that Michael sees what Gabriel sees, what Castiel sees, enough to make them leave a Host that doesn't.

Their Father never left. He was just waiting for them. And because Michael is their leader, because Michael grasps the truth of them once again, the Heavens rejoice and Lucifer snarls, because _no_ , why should they have _joy_ , when he is surrounded by mud and dirt and scum and his Father will not look upon him, will not _love him instead of the apes_ \- except that He does, of course. Lucifer just doesn’t understand how all-encompassing his Father’s love truly is, and he never will.

This time, Michael fights for humanity, less as a Sword and more as a Shield, and Dean says yes, because Michael has a plan, and it is good. Sam, too says yes, and brothers meet on a field, brothers who love each other violently and passionately (Lucifer will always love Michael, in his own twisted, vicious way, and Michael will always love Lucifer, steadfastly and sorrowfully) and this time when Sam wrests control away from Lucifer for love of _his_ brother, Michael reaches out, pulling Sam from the brink and pushing Lucifer over it.

It’s the same story over again, but as Michael steps away and sees Sam in Dean’s arms and sees his Father’s face, he thinks he finally understands.

And there, the story ends.

(Because Michael and Gabriel and Castiel return home, return to communion with their loved ones, to restore order and peace and harmony, to teach them and fight beside them and love humanity as they were ever meant to, and humanity continues on its way, loving and hurting and growing and learning, because that’s the whole **_point_**.) 

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
